pissed off..
qing sms me to go drink. i pushed away all appointments coz i felt she prob needed someone to keep her company. being the usual mr. nice guy, i prepared myself to booze throughout the nite and turned down a fren's date. ended up exchanging hell loads of sms with qing and eventually landed at some freak coffeeshop drinking alone.
what the fucking fuck fuck.. nvm, although i strongly believed she should be out for a breather, i guessed she wun really listen.. who am i to her anyway?
.................................
waited whole day for her call, again.. coz she said she would call.. what the fuck again.. she totally forgot what she said to me last nite.. what the hell.. sianz.. i become fan jian and sms her, again.. not feeling well.. sms her a few times at night no reply.. said she would call later.. as usual.. what can i expect rite..
sometimes i wish i get drunk everyday, or more that she gets drunk daily.. at least i know she would definitely call me and talk.. she once said truth will only be spouted out when she's drunk.. and i wish to hear those words.. when she gets drunk and speak to me, i hear words that are so heartening and endearing from her.. but everytime she wakes, she treats me with a totally different attitude..
confused..
now that im blogging, i smsed her again.. she din reply.. my thoughts are running wild.. i dunno what she is doing.. i dunno where she is.. i dunno who she is with..
fuck, she not mine, but i have completely no idea why i get so upset when i dun get to hear from her.. i need to get a huge damn fucking break..
going bonkers..
my blog is no longer my usual kinda blog.. nothing poetic, only full of lamenting and disgusting cheesy woes and complaints.. i feel like a fucking bitch.. a fucking gu niang..
fuck.. really fuck.. fuck fuck fuck..
*a total dick*
-fucking Nick-