last nite was a crazy nite. all i wanted to do, was to go down to my usual nitespot for a drink, of course inkling with the idea of seeing her there. i did. she looked exceptionally gorgeous to me, i have no idea why. i guess i do miss her afterall.
so much so for saying "i'm ok with it".
i'm an idiot.
she cut her arm with a razor. and she cried.
i burned my arm with my fags. and i cried.
what was going on? i dun wana stress her. but i want to be with her. i want to be there when she needs a shoulder to cry on, someone to hug and snuggle to sleep, a pair of hands to hold on to when she felt like she's falling.. she will find one.. soon i hope.. me i hope..
i'm damn fan jian.
i miss her. i went to run again at 10pm just now. in my mind i just kept thinking about her.
"everywhere i go, everywhere i stay, i can see your eyes, each time it burn...
every step u take, every move u make, i can feel your warmth, each time it snows...
time, will heal any pain, tats what they say...
but i, would give anything, to have u come again, come again, and again..."
my arm hurt. fucking cigarette marks. no idea why i actually went to burn myself. the boils are painful and ugly. i was found at the void deck with such marks, ppl prob thought i was a lunatic. no matter, i dun care anyway..
yr wounds hurt i know, but it hurts me more inside..
pls dun cry, pls dun hurt yrself, i will feel hurt...
i miss u still, do u?
i love u still, do u?
-Nick-
